I revised thriller “PRAY WITH A BULLET” and sent it to various screenplay competition. Here are the successes from 2024 so far:
Here’s feedback from a Slamdance reader 1: “‘Pray with a Bullet’ is a riveting tale, strong in its purposeful tone and vivid writer’s voice. A minor fix to note, the scene ins and outs within this screenplay could be tightened, as could the economy of language given we have some flow and pacing issues. However, this is an easy adjustment with a minor editing pass…. Nonetheless, this is an excellent ride and adventure. Wonderful job.”
Slamdance reader 2″: “‘Pray with a Bullet’ has really stellar character build and development. It’s clear the writer has a strong understanding of people as a whole and how change in them comes about. The dialogue is relatively strong as well– natural and engaging…. A little bit of revising in act 2 for structure would immediately tighten up this script. Great job!”
Slamdance reader 3: “In ‘Pray with a Bullet’ we have some excellent character work at play. There are fantastic creative choices as well within the writing; the writer’s voice shines in this screenplay…. This is such a fun ride to embark on as a reader and it’s clear this script is near its final form. Wonderful job!”
“The genre elements truly shine here, ensuring the project’s commercial appeal comes across on the page. The historical context and physical location of ancient Mayan ruins provide an exciting backdrop for the drama and action. You write visual spectacle so well: Mick and Kabah’s underwater struggle against the skeletons, for example, the Jaguar War Goddess’s dark ritual, and the thrilling showdown with the giant mythical serpent. Beats like these make for an entertaining and visually compelling read.”
Here’s some recent feedback I’ve received on my screenplay “LIMPING TOWARDS BABYLON”:
Slamdance Screenplay Competition short feedback: “The script has really clever dialogue, and the relationships between these characters are incredibly well-thought-out and dimensional.
ScreenCraft Feature Competition short coverage: “One of the things that really elevates “Limping Towards Babylon” is the layering of the characterization. The group all have distinct motivations and each acts with consistent agency. These are all smart and highly educated characters and yet we also see their more lizard brain impulses that sit below the surface. The contrast between what is verbalised and the subtext beneath it lends the character dynamics a great tension that sustains reader interest across the narrative.”
The Golden Script Competition Coverage “The beginning of the story hooks you right in with a strong setup, introducing Marcus and Thomas right off the bat. It hints at their comedic tone through their dialogue and actions, making it easy for audiences to relate to them. As the plot unfolds, it skillfully delves into their individual journeys, blending their career ambitions with personal obstacles.
The screenplay is packed with vibrant character dynamics and hilarious exchanges. It really captures the essence of living together, highlighting all the quirks and complexities that come with it. Each housemate, from Marcus and Thomas to E and Adam, brings something unique to the table, drawing audiences in with a blend of novelty and familiarity. Following their lives, from initial interviews to everyday interactions in shared spaces, adds layers to the story and keeps viewers hooked. It’s like reliving those college days in a whole new light….”
I revised “Limping Towards Babylon.” Because, I never made a concerted effort to submit to Screenplay competitions when I first finished script, I have been sending it off – not to as many places as “Don’t Eat Paper!” but a somewhat parallel effort. (I was more concentrated on the difficult process of trying to raise money to produce and direct the film – a process that involved an enormous effort that on one level I was quite proud of (a “Limping Towards Babylon” website which I designed and populated, an excellent Look Book, accepted into Fiscal Sponsorship with the Gotham, etc.), but I was never able to raise the requisite funds. But I’ve never given up on getting it off the ground and thus why I thought maybe some screenplay competition successes would show investors it’s a worthwhile project:
– 2024 – Semi-Finalist – 29th Annual Fade In Awards Drama Competition
– 2024 – Semi-Finalist – Dallas International Film Festival’s Screenwriting Competition Above, a story board of the opening scene provided by Dallas International Film Festival – an excellent drawing though it’s missing one character who is in the scene
– 2024 – Semi-Finalist – Ojai Film Festival’s Screenplay Competition
When I initially finished “Don’t Eat Paper!” in 2023, I began to submit that comedy screenplay to competitions: major, minor and those in-between. I then started to submit my older screenplays to some of these contests simultaneously because I had never submitted to most of them. (Since 2023, I’ve done several re-drafts of paper as the current version is shorter than what I submitted in 2023… ditto, I’ve done polishes on the older scripts too.)
“DON’T EAT PAPER!”
– 2023 Semi-finalist – Final Draft’s Big Break
– 2023 Semi-finalist – Flickers’ Rhode Island International Film Festival
– 2023 Semi-Finalist – Polish International Film Festival
– 2023 – Quarter-Finalist – Wiki World’s Fastest Screenplay Competition
– 2023 – Official Selection – Culver City Film Festival
On March 1, 2024 at the Chinese Theatres in Los Angeles on Hollywood Blvd, the script for “Don’t Eat Paper!” was names Best Fantasy Romance Screenplay at the Golden State Film Festival.
And earlier at the Hollywood Reel Independent Film Festival (held at LA Live), the same screenplay was named Best Screenplay – 3rd Place.
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the play reading.
“I must snare this hare before she becomes rabidly aware.”
In the style of Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and other classical comedies, the play is chock-a-block with word play, alliterations, internal rhymes and couplets, physical buffoonery and mistaken identities. “THE MASTER AND THE MAGICIAN” is a fractured fairy tale for adults.
On the final night of a magician’s life, she seeks to pass on her knowledge to an heir, while at the same time playing a last game of hearts with a puckish fairy spirit in which they use four lovers as pawns.
However, underlying the comedy and farce are serious disquisitions into love, gender, the nature of leadership and especially the metaphor of the artist as magician.
Starring: Gabriella Biziou, Riley Conrad, Will Dixon, Caroline Quigley, Demitra Sealy,
Roy Vongtama and Mari Weiss. Stage directions: Judy Victor
Rehearsal photos:Caroline Quigley, Roy Vongtama and Gabriella Biziou in a scene from the play
